foray into the world of blogging

11 03 2008

In starting this blog, I think I have almost come to the full realization of how scary blogging can be. I didn’t think that starting a blog would be such a daunting process; blogging always held a strange portion of fear for me, but I never thought the actual process of starting a blog would be so difficult. I’ve always thought of myself as an extremely private person and so the prospect of publishing thoughts on my life and the environment around me for people to read, provided anyone reads this, was scary. I would be sharing things with people that I couldn’t see when I didn’t even share some things with people I did see. Being judged by people I didn’t know was also scary, but I’ve come to believe that being read and potentially judged by strangers isn’t as scary as being judged by people I knew. I wouldn’t have to physically see the strangers the next day and constantly think whether or not they thought a certain way about me. I also think that I’ve just matured and grown up a little and thus can say that peoples’ opinion of me don’t really bother me too much. Of course it would bother me if a large population thought that I was a jerk, because that would probably mean that I was being a jerk, but I at the end of the day, I don’t feel the need to answer to those that might not agree with me. So yay for essentially not caring. Now I just sound like an insensitive jerk… that and my inner monologue and random conversations with myself look stranger in print than I imagined. They just don’t have that light, fleeting, and almost cotton-candy like texture when they were just thoughts floating through my head. I think that’s the first time that I’ve compared thoughts to cotton-candy…

But seriously, starting a blog was daunting. And here I mean the actual physical process of filling in the form to sign up for a blog. It sounds weird, but it seems like it would be an easy process, right? I mean, isn’t that how it’s sold on every blog host? Things like, “it only takes a minute”, and that it’s a “simple and easy” installation (I was going to say “so easy a caveman could do it” but that’s for GEICO). And it was just so amusing why it was so daunting. Provided that picking where to blog took a while, but it was deciding on a name that took forever. It’s like you don’t want to be generic, but at the same time you don’t want strain yourself and get so literary to the point that even you don’t understand what the heading means. So after thinking about the title for what was probably way too long (and the tagline mind you, that’s what really killed me), all I’ve come up with is this pretentious sounding title set against a pretty picture of the ocean. But I’ve thought for too hard and too long to go generic, so the title is here to stay. Would this blog be the same with something more generic? Probably, but I think I secretly (or rather, not so secretly now) like it. But that just might be the part of me that thinks it’s a poet talking…

Well, I can feel it now. This is probably going to become a lounge for all the random thoughts that come to me during the day. Now instead of letting them grow in potentially strange ways in my head as I converse with myself, they’re going to hang out here. And if this blog is going to be representative of what goes on through my head, I think the focus of this blog really is going to be hazy.




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